Sometimes, something drastic needs to happen in order for change to take place. Sometimes understanding what someone else is experiencing is only possible once you are where they are standing. A busy life Samantha always knew she wanted to be a mom, but she did not ever imagine how difficult it really could be. After she and her husband, Craig, had their first child, things were not easy, she worked a full-time job and still came home to cook and clean. Then, when their twin boys made their arrival, things got even more tricky. Balancing a home life along with three children and a full-time job was no easy task, and Craig was not the most helpful, either. Eventually, Craig got to the point where being understanding of his wife flew out the window, and all he did was expect more. He asked Samantha to quit her job and be a full-time, stay-at-home mom. Wanting to make Craig happy, Samantha left her job and their nanny was asked to stop working. Samantha was now a full-time mom to all three of her children. The couple’s first child was nearly four now, and the twins were about to have their first birthday. None of the kids went to daycare, so Samantha was left to look after all three at the same time with no help. What was supposed to make Craig happy, seemed to be the worst idea now. He got upset when there were dishes not done, or when his dinner was not ready as he got home from work. He started to become very angry and bitter towards his wife, who was doing the best she could. Craig thought of his wife as incompetent. His thoughts and words included things like; Why were there toys on the floor? Why was the bathroom a mess? Surely his wife should be managing the home better.
Eventually, Craig lashed out at Samantha for anything and everything he did not like. Samantha just continued to try, exhausted. A not so happy birthday Samantha and Craig’s twins were about to turn two, it had been a year of Samantha staying home. And a year of Craig thinking she was not doing a good enough job. The birthday party was perfect, Samantha had stayed up all night the night before making snacks for the party guests, blowing up balloons, and setting the scene for her twin boys. It was late now and the guests were starting to leave. Once all of them had left, Samantha plonked onto the couch in sheer exhaustion. Craig did not like that, after all, who was going to pick up the wrapping paper and clean up after the storm of 20 toddlers and their parents who had just left? What about all the dishes and bathing the kids? He told Samantha to get up off her lazy backside and get everything done, he then stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door, causing all the kids to start crying at once. Samantha sighed as tears started falling from her own eyes. She got up and gathered the kids for bath and bedtime. Read: I Woke up to My Husband Saying: ‘Hush, She’s Sleeping’ – a Short Story
The nail in the coffin Thankfully, their five-year-old daughter fell asleep almost instantly, but Samantha still had to get the twins to sleep. She tucked them into bed and started to read them a bedtime story. Midway reading the book to her almost sleeping boys, Craig knocked on the door, he opened it and laughed at Samantha, asking her if she could manage. The boys fell asleep and Samantha left the room. She was livid. She never got angry but this was the final straw so she burst into the living room where Craig was watching TV and yelled at him in anger. She was sick of being treated like she did nothing all day. Then suddenly, Samantha blacked out stone cold on the living room floor. Welcome to my life At first, Craig thought it was a joke but soon realized that his wife was not okay at all. He dialed 911 and soon the paramedics arrived. Craig could not leave with Samantha as he had the kids all tucked up in bed. He watched as the ambulance drove off. He was shocked and had no idea why she had just passed out that way. He locked the door and walked back into the living room, and soon noticed a notepad on the floor. It had fallen from Samantha’s back pocket when she fell. Craig opened the notebook and read the words: To-Do List
First, he read the to-do list for that day, the day of the twin’s birthday party, including all the prep-work she had done to get everything together. And then he flipped the page to the next day. Samantha’s to-do list read as follows:
To Do: Monday
5.00 a.m. – Wake up
5.30 a.m. – Quick shower and get Megan’s bag ready for a play date with Sarah
6:00 a.m. – Babies’ milk. Also, Megs should be awake by now
7:00 – Wake Craig up – joy
7:30 – Get breakfast going (eggs, bacon, and toast)
8:00 – Dress the children, leave to drop Meg at playdate
8:15 – Iron Craigs clothes for work, pack lunch (chicken mayo)
9:00 – Craig leaves for work (Free 30 minutes, hehe)
Babies need to be fed, don’t forget! And you have to clean the dishes and Meg’s room.
12:00 – Lunchtime for the twins
1:00 – Collect Meg from Sarah
2:00 – Playtime at the park with all the kids|
3:00 – Hometime and snack time
4:00 – Get Meg ready for her ballet lesson, back at 5:30 pm
5:30 – Start dinner preparations
6:00 – bath kids and put them to bed, Craig home
7:00 – Have dinner
8:00 – Shower and do Dishes
9:00 – Clean up toys and pack away items
9:30 pm – Bedtime yay!
A wake up call Craig’s mouth dropped. He had no idea how much his wife was really doing, and he started to feel like a real idiot for ever thinking otherwise. As he read the to-do list, he realized his wife had absolutely no free time for herself. He had treated her like dirt and thought she was lazy, but she was far from it. Still, he thought to himself that tomorrow while his wife was in the hospital, he would easily manage her to-do list. Craig woke up late to the kids screaming and crying, he’d already missed the play date and the kids were starving. One of the twins had decided to pull a bag of sugar out of the pantry and the entire place was a mess. Frantically, Craig realized even more what his wife went through on a daily basis. He got the kids ready and called in the old nanny to help – and then made his way to the hospital to find out what was going on with his wife. On his way to the ER, he thought about how he would apologize and make it up to Samantha. No words could take away the way he had treated her. But he knew that he could change and appreciate his wife from that moment on. And he would be sure to hire a nanny to ensure that Samantha never passed out from exhaustion ever again! You see, we never really do know what someone else is going through or experiencing, but we can make the effort to try to understand and treat them kindly.
